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1. Prepare your grill.

Whether you’re cooking up some steaks, burgers, or chicken, make sure you’ve got a hot pad for your hands and your grill is in tip-top shape. You should also make sure you’re well-stocked with your grilling essentials: hot pads, tongs, a spatula, and light and dark beer.

2. Go meatless.

Eating a vegetarian diet or choosing veganism can be a great way to get closer to nature, save the environment, and even eat better. But you’re not going to find a meat lover to fall for you if you’re a vegan. You’ll need to focus on buying delicious non-food items like coffees and beverages or paninis and wraps.

3. Skip the quickie, and test your speed and stamina.

Don’t be a scumbag or a loser. A quickie isn’t a date. It’s a one-night stand.

4. Wear good shoes.

You want to look like a ten when you walk up to someone. Show your best side in your first impression. Also, a good pair of shoes can make a world of difference in how you look. Not to mention, walking on streets and sidewalks looks good—and so does the street cred that comes with a classic pair of kicks.

5. Hold doors for people.

Paying attention to others is a basic courteous gesture that’s well-worth the effort—and it’s especially important in New York City, where people don’t always do this. It also helps when using the subway, because it’s a life-or-death situation. Not to mention, handholding and holding doors for people can help build a lasting friendship.

6. Make sure you know where you’re going.

Making a dinner reservation is a basic act of planning and a proactive way to show someone you’re thoughtful. It also helps keep you organized and keeps you looking like a good planner.

7. Make yourself available for everything.

While girls may know how to give a blow job, guys are still far from experts on the art of fellatio. Throw a toothpick in your mouth and learn how to use it. The point is, you’re a pleaser. And while some men can be pretty good at it, the object of your affection will appreciate anything you do to be attractive to them
This post also appears on Lifehacker with the same awesome photo of a candle.

Take Control

In a way, dating has always been an exercise in control. Dating sites and apps like Tinder are virtual control panels where you can experiment, flirt, and safely say “yes” or “no” to sex. So you can always go back to the drawing board, even if you do flirt with someone you truly like. “When you’re in a situation where you’re meeting someone who’s online, it changes your mindset,” Alison Fensterstock, a dating coach and founder of the online dating site Grouper, tells Lifehacker. “You’re being more in control of the whole interaction.”

It’s All in Your Head

Yes, technology has changed the rules of dating, but it’s not about taking away your control. While technology may make it easier to find someone, it doesn’t make it easier to date them. You have to be flexible and open-minded about what you’re looking for. On the flip side, you need to also be flexible and open-minded about what you’re willing to put up with, and that includes having a group of friends you can call on to help you kick your dating confidence in the ass.

They are who they are

Most modern daters have a clear idea of what they want in a partner, but one of the first things we do in a new relationship is find the flaws we don’t like in the person we’re dating. It’s human nature. When we’re in relationships, we assume we know who they are—we like them, so we think they are worthy of our time, our energy, and our attention. But there’s no way you can truly know what someone is like until you spend time with them. So don’t beat yourself up if someone just doesn’t seem like your type. “I’ve always thought that everyone was my type,” said Fensterstock, “and then I met someone who didn’t live up to my expectations and that’s made me completely re-evaluate.”

It’s All Up to You

When you’re looking for a new date, it’s on you to put yourself forward as the most attractive and interesting person you are. You need to have a clear idea of what you’re looking for and what you’re not looking for, and that all starts with putting yourself out there. So if you have a specific type of guy you want, put yourself in his

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